Can thrifting be made safer?

Everyone should be able to express themselves freely through fashion. Yet we live in a world with a strict dress code, where what you wear can carry many social signals, from financial status, to sexual orientation, or gender presentation. 

For many trans and non-binary people, wearing the clothes that fit our identity is a vital part of a healthy life. The experience of shopping for new clothes while going through gender transitioning—or simply wearing make-up to go grocery shopping—can be a fraught and even dangerous lesson.

Obtaining new clothes can be a dysphoric experience. All stores whether they be queer vintage boutiques, big box chains, or thrift shops sort clothes by “male” and “female” genders. Most well-meaning and allied spaces generally still center the cis experience, and make trans+ and non-binary people seeking a more spectrum experience feel out of place.

The Dream Boutique, located in the heart of downtown Phoenix, exclusively serves the gender expansive community. The Boutique provides free gender-affirming clothing, as well as shoes, hygiene products, binders, undergarments, wigs, and a variety of accessories. 

In this brightly lit space, decorated with trans and non-binary flags, clothing is sorted by style and size, not gender. Volunteers who are all part of the gender-expansive community, assist folks with finding clothes, if needed, and can offer advice on transition, as well as other support services.

“This is an invaluable resource for the trans and gender-expansive community.” Said Nicholas Conway, a transmasc volunteer liaison with the Southwest Center, and peer support specialist. “It provides a dedicated space to explore our own unique, authentic gender, free from the judgements and cultural expectations that are still all too common in society today.”

There is a power and intimacy in hand-me downs, the antithesis of capitalist fast-fashion. Unique items and hidden gems can be found in the clothing stacks, and the exchange of clothes between generations of trans+ and non-binary peoples, can be a deeply healing experience. One person’s past styles can be a euphoric part of someone else’s identity journey. 

Kimberly Jordan, who is on the board of directors for Trans Spectrum of Arizona has been leading efforts to make The Dream Boutique an inclusive and uplifting space for all those in the community. Jordan has a long history of volunteer work, and as a proud Black trans woman, she champions the importance of feeling confident and comfortable in ourselves. 

LOOKOUT spoke with Jordan on her mission at The Dream Boutique, what people can expect from a shopping experience there, the importance of expressing yourself through style, how community and volunteer work can transform lives, as well as Jordan’s own personal journey embracing her fashion, confidence, and giving back to the trans+ community. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

LOOKOUT: You shared that you grew up in a family that really showed you the importance of volunteering and being involved in a community. Can you share more about that?

Kimberly Jordan (she/her): I have been volunteering since before I started middle school. I used to volunteer at the American Heart Association, and then at the American Cancer Association. Then around middle school, my Mom started at the Pittsburgh Rehabilitation Center, so I was volunteering there. Even before that, volunteering and community has always been a part of my life. That’s why I’m so passionate about it. It’s hard for me to understand that there are people who’ve never done it, or never given back, because I get such joy out of it. 

LO: What is the drive for you, is it mutual positive change?

KJ: I think it’s getting to know all walks of life. I think sometimes you need to be taken out of your privilege of having food every day, or a roof over your head, or clothes on your back. When you’re taken out of that privilege of having the normal stuff and you see there are those that don’t…if you don’t have empathy, or sympathy, I don’t know! Those people can change your life. 

LOOKOUT: What is The Dream Boutique, and what is its purpose?

KO: The Dream Boutique started about ten years ago at First Church UCC in downtown Phoenix. I recently took over as head of point for Trans Spectrum of Arizona. It is a transgender closet, to help anyone on the spectrum of transness or non-binary. It has clothing, shoes, underwear, binders, we’re trying to get more hygiene products in there. Just to give the support that is needed for people of the trans experience. 

LO: You want it to feel like a shopping experience, a safe space, brightly lit and colorful, a fun experience. Let’s talk about that, and how in the real world that’s not something that a lot of people in our community have access to. 

KJ: We have access to it, but we’re not comfortable in those spaces. This space can be a space where we’re comfortable, you can come with your girlfriends, or boyfriends, or non-binary friends, or whoever, and have that nice shopping experience. 

LO: Absolutely. I know people who love going to Goodwill, but feel uncomfortable if they want to shop in the “men’s section” or look at dresses, people stare and we get gender policed. 

KJ: Absolutely, it happens. And everyone doesn’t have tough enough skin sometimes to feel like being in the outside public, or being comfortable in those spaces. That is why I try to go in early, open the Boutique for a couple of hours, make sure a variety of sizes are put out, and everybody can feel safe and comfortable. 

LO: What do you think the importance of fashion, being able to live in your skin, and expressing yourself through clothes and style, can give to people emotionally?

KJ: First of all, fashion has always been an expression of self, identity, how you feel on that day, what you want to present as that day. I feel like sometimes that can get lost going to the regular stores. 

Coming into The Dream Boutique, I want it to be nothing like the normal. I want you to enjoy yourself, shop in whatever area you want. Those that present feminine can find what they want, those that present masculine can find what they want, and those in the middle or anyone can go to either side. It’s no judgment, and just about enjoying yourself in a safe space. 

LO: A lot of allyship can just be talk. Then when you are actually in those spaces and communities which you might not be part of, you need to come in with an open mind and heart, you’re there to listen to what that community is going through and just take it in. That can really open up your perspective. 

KJ: Right. And that’s also why I joined the Sorority I am in, which is the first transgender Sorority in the United States, Kappa Iota Sigma Sorority Incorporated. Our mission is to exact change through social awareness, and giving back to our communities. So some of our initiatives are HIV and AIDS awareness, and helping the community where it is needed. We are a community service Sorority. 

LO: How would you define that?

KJ: Our basis is in doing the work in the trans community, making things look different, making things inclusive, changing the narrative on trans women period. 

LO: What is that narrative shift for you?

KJ: For me, it is just making sure trans women know they are loved, they are wanted, and they are appreciated. That is true for everyone on the spectrum, so they also have an all male trans sorority for males of all orientations. Then they have a masculine women’s group, an all women’s group, a trans women, and a trans men group. That’s why I decided to join, because I saw they were really being inclusive of everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. 

LO: And that inclusivity, especially for trans, non-binary and gender expansive people is something we struggle with, even in queer spaces. Like gay bars for instance, where we are often not welcome or safe. 

KJ: There are gay bars where I have gotten into physical altercations because people were being so disrespectful to me. And the bar help was no help at all. I’m little, but I can handle myself and I saw I would have to. So after I handled it, the bar help told me I had to go. They didn’t ask the man who was accosting me to leave, like you don’t see this man harassing me? Then when I protect myself, I am the aggressive one.

LO: So a lot of the world, whether it is shopping, or then you put on your cute outfit and you want to go out with friends, and just be seen, that can be very complicated for people in our community. So this Boutique is really a vital space to be seen as beautiful, or handsome, or androgynous.

KJ: And not only that, I try to build the confidence for people when they come in. I let them know that they are all beautiful, like hey, that looks great on you, keep your head up, smile, feel happy. Confidence sometimes goes a long way, so we build confidence for people who may not yet have it. 

LO: So as people are figuring out new bodies, or new shapes, and new personal styles, how to tie a tie, or hook on a bralet, some of these things are not intuitive. So it’s nice to have volunteers that can help you and understand everyone’s different journey. 

KJ: Right, and I think that’s something that is missing out even in straight people stores in the regular world. People there who will really help and listen to you. So I just want to do something completely different, and make people happy. 

LO: I’d love to hear about your personal style, and how fashion and confidence has helped you transform your life, so that you are in a place where you are able to share this with others. 

KJ: My style has always been different, and I’ve always shopped at thrift shops. I love shopping and I love giving clothes away too. I have a storage unit of clothes, I’ve been giving shoes to the Arizona Ballroom Coalition. 

Before I moved to Arizona, I wore a high heel every single day. I would go to the grocery store in heels, but when I moved here I felt a little out of place. Everyone had flip flops and sandals, and was looking at me like I’m crazy. But I was coming from Detroit, where the girls wear make-up to the gym [laughs]. I never owned tennis shoes. I had to learn to blend in. 

LO: There is an aspect of fashion of just dressing up and looking good, or having fun. But there is also the importance of just everyday items, which the Boutique also offers. 

KJ: I don’t want to make it too glamorous. I don’t want people to feel like, oh if I come there I’ll only find this one type of style. I want people to walk in, and immediately feel like this is a comforting space, where any style belongs, and you can find anything you want at The Dream Boutique. 

The Dream Boutique is located at 1407 N. 2nd Street Phoenix in the First Church UCC. The Dream Boutique is not religiously affiliated, and is run and operated by Trans Spectrum of Arizona, The Southwest Center, and gender-expansive volunteers, offering free clothing to trans and gender-expansive individuals only. 

Hours of operation and FAQS can be found on their website.